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I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE FIRST MEETUP with the atheist group. It was sunny and hot and I was walking a little faster than I normally do because I was a bit late. I didn’t know what to expect and the idea that I should’ve had a glass of wine or two beforehand to ease my anxiety crossed my mind. Ahead in the hazy distance, I saw these two young women approaching me on the sidewalk. They each looked about twenty years old or so, and from a distance, kind of like your average white hipsters.
I expected them just to pass me by but when I got closer one of them suddenly asked if they could talk to me for a few moments. Being slightly late for the meeting, I hesitated, but then decided to entertain the idea. They were both very attractive, I had to say, but on closer inspection they looked barely out of high school. One was a brunette and the other had dirty blonde hair. The brunette turned to me and with great enthusiasm said, “Hi. We'd like to talk to you about Mormonism. It's amazing. It's absolutely changed my life.” She handed me a small card.
I should've seen this coming. There is a Mormon missionary center just a mile away from me where they send kids from Utah and other extremely red republican states out West over to the big secular apple to spread the “good news.” The dirty blonde asked me, “What have you heard about Mormons?”
Wow! Being asked this question is like every atheist's dream! Having recently learned a bit about Mormonism I told them exactly what I heard about Mormons.
I should've seen this coming. There is a Mormon missionary center just a mile away from me where they send kids from Utah and other extremely red republican states out West over to the big secular apple to spread the “good news.” The dirty blonde asked me, “What have you heard about Mormons?”
Wow! Being asked this question is like every atheist's dream! Having recently learned a bit about Mormonism I told them exactly what I heard about Mormons.
“I heard you were an officially racist organization that though black people were inferior,” I said. Both of the girls were shocked, their bulging eyes giving it away. I could clearly tell they were not expecting that answer.
After an extremely long second or two of some really awkward silence, the dirty blonde said, “Well we don't believe that stuff anymore. You probably think we're polygamists right?”
This attempt to change the subject didn't go unnoticed. I pressed further on the race issue the brunette said, “Well I'm not a racist, and neither is she.”
So I respond, “I'm glad that we're all not racists and everything but your religion officially was.”
At this point I could see in both of their faces that they were are beginning to lose confidence in me and had probably wished they never stopped to talk to me. They realized I wasn’t as ignorant about their religion as they probably had hoped I was.
So, feeling perhaps a little regretful over my tone and the response I had elicited in, and since by all accounts they both looked like two wholesome Mormon girls, I said, “Look, I'm sure your experience with Mormonism is wonderful and all but it's just not for me. But I'll take your card and look into it. OK?” They seemed relieved in not having to deal with me and we parted ways.
Looking at the card it had a picture of a Hispanic woman on it I suppose in an attempt to appeal to the immigrant community where I live. I’ve done my research on Mormonism. Mormons actually think Native Americans were a tribe of Israelites who sailed from Israel through the Mediterranean Sea and across the entire Atlantic Ocean to the New World sometime around 600 BC — an event not upheld by any scientific, archaeological, or historical evidence.
All in all, I had a funny ironic story to tell when I got to the meeting.
